What Do We Call Female Relatives in Hindi?
It has always amused me that the term for a man’s wife’s sister (saali, साली) and that the term of a brother’s wife (bhaabhi, भाभी) in the Hindi language can be used in very different ways. While the former is used not only as a descriptor but also as a mild expletive in regular conversation, the latter is used both as a descriptor referring to a brother’s wife, as well as other unrelated married women with a degree of respect. For instance, the woman who came in to do domestic chores in my home in Delhi would call me “bhabhi” to indicate friendly respect, though we were completely unrelated.
We took a deep dive into how to address male relatives and members of the extended family. Now let us examine how female relatives are identified in Hindi, how there are terms to identify precisely how a girl or woman is related to a particular individual. This is an indicative list: It is by no means exhaustive, and by no means able to encompass the vast regional variety of the Hindi terms used for female relatives of the extended family:
- Mother – Ma, Mummy, Mumma, Amma (माँ, मम्मी, मुम्मा, अम्मा)
- Paternal Grandmother – Dadi (दादी)
- Maternal Grandmother – Nani (नानी)
- Granddaughter from the son – Poti (पोती)
- Granddaughter from the daughter – Natin (नातिन)
- Great grandmother on the father’s side – Pardadi (परदादी)
- Great grandmother on the mother’s side – Parnani (परनानी)
- Sister – Behen, Didi, Jiji, Aapa (बहन, and in the case of the elder sister दीदी, जीजी, आपा)
- Wife – Patni, Biwi (पत्नी, बीवी)
- Daughter – Beti, Bachchi, Beta, (बेटी, बच्ची, बीटा which is often used in a gender neutral way)
- Sister’s daughter – Bhanji (भान्जी)
- Brother's daughter – Bhatiji (भतिजी)
People not related to a girl will also often refer to her as “beta”. Though the word itself means son, it is most often used as a generic term used to address a younger person. It is often a term of closeness or affection. So for instance I would address the friend of my daughter as “beta” regardless of whether that friend is a boy or a girl. A teacher may address a student similarly.
Yes, seniority matters!
The terms for female relatives in Hindi will often change depending upon a girl or woman being older or younger than an individual. Not only does this vary for younger or older sisters but for other relatives by marriage:
- Brother’s wife – Bhabhi (भाभी)
- Husband’s sister – Nanad (ननद)
- Husband’s mother – Saas, Sasuma (सास , सासु माँ)
- Wife of the husband’s older brother – Jethani (जेठानी)
- Wife of the husband’s younger brother – Devrani (देवरानी)
- Mother of child’s spouse – Samdhin (समधिन)
About Aunts
Aunty (not aunt) is a term Hindi speakers use for myriad purposes. It is used to address any older woman not related to the speaker in general. Quite bizarrely, some people use it to be formal or to accord respect to women of the same age or even younger. In my view, this strange observance probably came about as a result of people not wanting to use the more old-fashioned sounding “behen” or “bhenenji”; to sound more modern. Sometimes it will be used by domestic and other workers to refer to their employers: some as a measure of modernity, some to avoid the more unequal/deferential term “Madam” or “Ma’am”.
That said, the term aunty is also used by young people in a pejorative sense. It is meant to indicate a neighbourhood busybody perhaps, a gossipy and meddlesome woman of a certain age whose sole aim appears to be to get young people married off. So if a young person is being a bit of a killjoy, a friend may well tell them oh, don’t be such an aunty (or uncle).
Of course aunty or aunty ji is too generic a term to use when referring to actual relatives. For that, we have these specific terms:
- Mother’s sister – Masi, Mausi (मसि, मौसी)
- Mother’s brother's wife – Mami (मामी)
- Father’s sister – Bua, Fufi (बुआ, फूफी)
- Father’s elder brother’s wife – Tai (ताई)
- Father’s younger brother’s wife – Chachi, Kaki (चाची, काकी)
But we have no cousins?
Now in case you think that the way we have names in Hindi for every possible blood relationship or relationship by marriage you are largely right, but not completely. Strangely, we don’t have a precise equivalent for the word “cousin” in Hindi and many other Indian languages. We do of course have qualifiers or descriptors like “chachera bhai” (चचेरा भाई) for the father’s brother’s son, by virtue of the relationship between fathers or “mausera bhai” (मौसेरा भाई) for mother’s sister’s son. However, there is no generic word for cousin. In my view, the word “cousin” is too generic for the precise terms we use for our relatives when speaking in Hindi.
That said, many Indians will refer to a cousin and even a second cousin simply as “brother” or “sister”. I have a theory for this, though I don’t think this is backed by actual research. Here as well, I think the joint family may be responsible. In the joint family setting all the children of the household grow up together. The chores of child rearing may be distributed between the women of the household in ways where women aren’t caring for only their own kids.
Children form close attachments to women who aren’t their own mothers and with kids who are not their actual siblings. Playing, eating, going to school, studying with a cousin closer to one’s own age may mean that an individual forms a closer bond with that cousin; more so perhaps than their own sibling. So if the line between cousin and sibling is blurry, this could be one explanation.
For the non-Hindi-speaker, this could sound like a lot. Not only are there many, many names for all the members of the extended family, there is nuance and also cultural subtext involved. The Hindi language teachers at Amarkosh can help one navigate through all of this. The platform puts you in touch with teachers so you can learn at a time of your convenience from teachers having native language proficiency – so that you know when to say “Bhabhi” and when not to say “Sali”.
